Naim offers Families and Friends packages (The Borneo Post)

More info... More info... (http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/rss/search/families/SIG=1195g4f27/*http%3A//www.theborneopost.com/?p=36673)KUCHING: Naim Cendera has introduced its Families and Friends packages to encourage friends or family members to live nearer each other in order to create a safe, healthy and friendly community. marriage and family therapy, individual consultation and coaching, pastoral psychotherapy, certified imago relationship therapist I help couples, families and individuals understand the patterns of thoughts, feelings and behaviors that keep them from having the relationships and the successes that they desire. I work with them to mobilize their ability and power to make the choices and changes that will make a real difference in their lives. If you decide to bring in your child for a play therapy evaluation, here is what to expect. Depending on the age of the child, I will probably ask the parents to come in without the child for the initial meeting. The exception to this is with the older teen who is well aware of why he/she is coming and whose parent is comfortable discussing the issue in front of the child. During the first meeting without the child, I will ask questions about the presenting problem as well as any precipitating factors. A family history will be taken, both of the parental relationship as well as both parents family of origin. Goals for change will be set and we will discuss how we will know goals have been achieved. Typically I will then meet alone with the child for 4 sessions. Many times during this period I may schedule one of these meetings with the whole family to do a group acitivity. This is useful to highlight any family dynamics that may be affecting the child. When alone with the child for play sessions, I will initially let the child lead the way. Toys and activities in my playroom are specially chosen to provide a "vocabulary" for children too young to express thier emotions using words. When your child leaves the session, they may talk about playing in the sand, coloring or making a collage. These are all techniques for me to get to know your child better and for them to express themselves. I prefer to not discuss the child's "progress" in front of them unless I let them know we will be doing so. This respects the child's feelings of trust about what happens in the session and it is uncomfortable for a child to be talked about in front of them. If there is anything that needs to be discussed I may ask for time alone or the parent may call before or after the session. After 4 sessions, I will meet again with parents without the child to discuss observations, recommendations and revise the goals. This pattern will continue until therapy is terminated. Because I see children, I am often asked questions about parenting. Some are very specific, asking about how to handle a behavioral issue like anger or doing homework. Other times, the questions are more general and it feels like the parent is looking for my approval. Without actually asking the question, they are wondering, “Am I doing it right”, “Will my child be harmed because I work?” or here’s what Tommy or I did in response to this situation- “Are we normal?” It seems that our ideas of good parenting are shaped by many different influences. Of course , our parents’ ideas of parenting shape our own but things were so different when we were children that it is hard to compare. Men weren’t expected to be as involved, if they were involved at all and fewer women were in the workforce. Society shapes our ideas of what is expected now but messages may be mixed depending on one’s social or economic surroundings. At times, especially with middle class families, parenting feels like a competition. My child got into this school or plays this sport competitively or is in these extracirricullar activities. Grades and test scores become public know ledge and at times feel more like a reflection of the parents’ performance than the child. The above discussion doesn’t even address yet another complication. The parent who was poorly parented and knows they want to do things differently but does not have a close role model. How does one know the best way to parent? Assuming that there are no problems with physical, verbal or sexual abuse and your child is safe, here are some guidelines to assure a parent that they are doing it right. 1. There is no RIGHT way to do it. All parents do the best they can given their own stage of development.2. There is no PERFECT parent, nor should a parent try to be perfect. In fact, according to researcher D.W. Winnicott, it is imperative that we fail our children at times so that they develop resilience and skills to take care of themselves in the real world.3. What is important, according to Winnicott is that we be a GOOD ENOUGH parent. This means meeting the needs of the child enough so that they understand that in general, the world is a reliable place and that others can be trusted.4. This goal can be accomplished whether you work or stay home. A parent who is dissatisfied with their own situation will project this disatisfaction on to their children and won’t be as emotionally available.5. Be intentional about the values that you want to pass along to your children and model them in your life.6. Provide firm and consistent discipline. Children need their parents to be parents and not permissive friends.Be open to other’s way s of parenting and recognize that there is no one way of doing it. Follow your intuition and do the best you can. Life Coaching Share Your Opinion. (0 posts)

 

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